In the holiday i was excited that one of my best friends were coming over to my house the first thing that i did was introduce him to my family then we hopped straight onto the PlayStation on battle field one all day long until night and did the same before had to go me and my dad said see you later.
Hello Honekai my name is Justin from your class this story dose not make any sense at some bits of the story like night night. But you tried.
ReplyDeleteHi my name is Capri from Kawakawa Primary School i really like your writting that you added high words like intrduce you need to fix up putting in adjectives and ad better words then get and change in to grabb.
ReplyDeleteHi Honekai! My name is Sam from room 6, Papakaio school. I liked all the verbs and adjectives you used, but there was no punctuation in the story.
ReplyDeleteHi, Alisi here. I enjoyed reading your story and how you told it. That made me think about when me and my best friend hung out. Maybe next you could make an animation about everything you did that night/day. Come check out my blog @alisif.blogspot.co.nz
ReplyDeleteHi Honekai, My Name is Tim and I really enjoyed reading your story. It reminds me of when my friends come over to my house, but somethings in your story didn't really make sense to me, I didn't really get when you said "we hopped on the PlayStation on battle field one all day until night and did the same before" hopefully you can reply and I can figure out what it meant.
ReplyDeletethank you Tim for replying ting on my blog i play battle filed one to on PlayStation 4
ReplyDelete